Scripture: “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25, ESV
I had to read this passage several times. I knew deep down in my heart that I was becoming bitter about a situation that had drastically changed my life. Had I really forgiven the person that hurt me. Was that person sorry for what they had done to me? Had we both moved on with life? I honestly could say, “no” at least on my end.
Every time I thought of the person, my chest would burn. My heart raced, and I would begin to panic. If I saw that person, I would feel as though I was being pricked by a thousand needles. Every time I thought of that person enjoying their life, I would break out in a cold sweat. Had I forgiven them? No! Was this right before God? No. Was bitterness taking root in my life? Yes! I had to break the soul ties and release this person, or else I would grieve myself to death. I had to forgive because if I didn’t, this person would continue to control me from a distance. Control? Yes, control. Every thing I did came with the need of a stamp of approval. “Did you see what I just did? I’m still winning. I’m still doing good.” I wanted that person to see I was doing alright and know that they hadn’t broken me. All lies! I was as broken as could be.
It was not until I read this verse that I realized that I had to truly let go. I was blocking my own blessing and hindering my progress by holding on to unforgiveness. I was allowing the enemy to set up shop in my life. Satan was operating full time and, I did not know it. He was controlling my thoughts and creating in me selfish ambition. I was going out of my way to prove myself to someone that was no longer in association with me. While I was bitterly trying to prove a point, this person had happily moved on.
We must forgive. If God can forgive us for our sins, we must be able to forgive others. Without forgiveness, bitterness and jealousy forms. The result is always death...death of your vision, joy, and eventually your life. I know it hurts, but please forgive and release that person to God. He is able to avenge you. Let go.