Scripture: “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25, ESV

Forgive? Really! I had to read the passage several times. I knew deep down in my heart I was becoming bitter about a situation that had drastically changed my life. Had I really forgiven the person who hurt me? Was this person truly sorry for what they had done to me? I honestly could say NO…at least on my end.

Every time I thought of this person, my chest would burn, my heart would race, and I would begin to sweat. If I happened to see the person out in public, I would feel as though I was being pricked by a thousand needles. A literal panic attack would occur. The anger begin to build up inside of me, and my blood would boil. How could they smile and enjoy life, while I was broken into millions of pieces. Tears would form in my eyes, but the courage to cry would never be there. so, I held the pain inside, and carried the burden for years. Now, God was requiring more of me than I was willing to give.

Psalm 34:18 states, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in the spirit.” I was shattered, and my life had come to a complete halt. My joy had disappeared, and the stress from holding in all of the hurt was consuming me. How dare God ask me to forgive a person who caused me so much pain!

Gently, the Father spoke to me. He reminded me that He collected all of my tears in a bottle and kept track of all of my sorrows (Psalm 56:8). Nothing I had gone through was hidden from Him. However, He meant what He said about forgiving others. There would be no special treatment; therefore, if I did not forgive, He could not forgive me. My relationship with the Lord was, and will always be, the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was not about to spend an eternity in Hell…so there was nothing left to do but forgive.

If you are struggling to forgive, there is a way out. You can be free from the pain and restored. Below, I have listed the steps I took to forgive, as well as a prayer for restoration.

Create a forgiveness List. Make a list of the people who you need to forgive. This list could include your parent, spouse, significant other, former friends, etc. Ask the Lord to bring to remembrance anyone you may have forgotten.
List the offense(s). Beside each person’s name, write out in detail what he or she did to you. Try to be as specific as you can. Reflect and write how the offense(s) made you feel.
Pray. Pray this prayer for each person on your list. “Father, I forgive _____ for _____. What they did to me made me feel ______ and caused me to _____. Heal and restore me, Lord. Right now, I choose to forgive _____ and set them free. I break all soul ties with _____ in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Amen.
Give it to God. Pray, “Father, I know you are requiring me to forgive. This painful for me, but I must be obedient. Please forgive me for holding on to unforgiveness for so long. I surrender all to You. Your Word says will save those who are crushed in the spirit. You favor the brokenhearted, and know every tear I have shed. The pain is overwhelming, and I need You now more than ever. Father, send Your Holy Spirit to comfort me. Reassure me that everything is going to be alright. I know You are faithful to Your promises. Restore my joy, give me peace, and calm the storm raging in my heart. In Jesus’ name, I ask this of You. amen.”
Walk in forgiveness and freedom. Just because you forgave the person(s), that does not mean the memories will not come to surface from time to time. It is almost impossible to “forgive and forget.” You must choose to walk in forgiveness and freedom daily. When the enemy reminds you of the offense(s), rebuke him in the Name of Jesus. Verbally declare that you have forgiven the person(s). You are no longer bound to the person(s) or what was done to you.

Choosing to remain in bitterness equals bondage. Instead, be willing to experience true freedom through forgiveness. When we forgive, our joy returns and our burdens are lifted. Life seems so much brighter. Once I was able to let it all go, I was able to experience God’s love on a deeper level. If you are ready to move forward in life and be restored, forgive.